Three Things

Three Things

With the onslaught of bad news this holiday season - the murders at Brown University and MIT, the horrible ant-semitic massacre at Bondi Beach, and then the murder of the beloved Rob Reiner, possibly by his own son, one is reminded that horrifying things in life do not take a break for the holidays.

The other day I saw a patient, whom, when I asked about the holidays, teared up stating that it was her son’s 11th birthday, His grandfather was just admitted to ICU with a terminal illness, and would be transferred to hospice the next day….to die peacefully. Her son and his grandfather have a very close, special relationship. All the mother, my patient, could think about was that for every subsequent Christmas holiday, she and her son would remember how they lost their beloved patriarch on his birthday, just before Christmas.

She asked my for advice for her family to deal with this emerging tragedy. I was reminded of advice I had read from historian Ken Burns, who tells his children when dealing with setbacks, tragedies or disappointments, particularly if they are traumatic, to remember the ThreeThings. He tells them to remember these three things when dealing with negative events.:

1. This moment will not last, or as a dear friend told me during a particularly dark time. “This too shall pass”

2. Seek help if you need it, either from a close friend, family member, or professional.

3. Be kind to yourself. I add to this, let yourself feel the feelings and ride through them, accepting with love and kindness all the emotion you may be feeling.

And I reminded her of the Serenity Prayer, giving us strength and wisdom to accept that which we cannot control and the strength to change what we can.

She stated she had already had a frank conversation with her son about his favorite grandpa’s imminent demise. They were already focussing on the happy memories and the love for this man they knew would never diminish. I felt hopeful for her, and by the time her appointment concluded, I was able to picture her, in the comforting arms of her family, appreciating the warmth, love, hope and peace of the season.

I wish the same for you this Christmas. May you and your family experiencing nothing less than all the hope and joy possible.

“Repeat the sounding Joy!”

Dr. John Monaco

MONACO WELLNESS

www.monacowellness.org

(813) 541-6440