Relationships: Seeing the other side
Those of you who follow this column know that we refer to relationships as “primary food” or “essential nourishment”. In other words, fulfilling relationships are essential for overall health.
One of the most important components of a fulfilling relationship is dealing with disagreements. Arguments are commonplace in any relationship, but are often handled poorly and result in more pain and suffering than may be necessary, slowly damaging that relationship. The most common pitfall in arguments is for both sides to insist that there are “right” (often whether they are or not!- just to win) Until one side concedes to the other, the argument continues, leading to excessive pain and suffering.
In his discussion of binary thinking (seeing issues only as black-white, right-wrong), Richard Rohr discusses the pitfalls of arguing as if there is only one right answer - yours. He says when in the midst of an argument with a loved one, an argument you must WIN, stop and think to yourself: “Don’t I know that every viewpoint is a view from a point?” and “Don’t I know that some of the information is never all of the information?”
In other words, when arguing, take moment to see the argument from the other person’s point of view, recognizing they may experience the same events completely differently from you, have different emotional reactions to the same facts, and feel as strongly as you do about winning this particular battle.
It is your ego that forces you to compare, compete and want to dominate. In your relationships, suspend your own ego for a moment in the interest of helping the relationship, look at your conflicts humbly, recognizing there are two sides to any conflict. Forget for a moment the need to be right. Try to educate each other. If you are open to the other side, you will be amazed how quickly the other side opens up to you as well. As my late father used to say, in regard to marital advice, “Would you rather be right, or happy?” I choose happy every time! I think you will, too.
Call us about our September Health Coaching special - $95.00 for two(2) sessions (one month). Book now and this pricing will continue throughout the year. Be sure to check out the website for the latest aesthetic treatments and products as well! Let us at MONACO Wellness help you become your best self. Until then, be well, find peace and spread joy!
Drs. John and Lisa Monaco
Dr. John cell: (813) 541-6440
Dr. Lisa cell: (813) 431-4848